December is often called “the most wonderful time of the year.” And while it most certainly can be an overflowing source of peace, joy, and family togetherness, it can bring quite the opposite – stress, hurry, and overstimulation. This may be true for any family, but adoptive families may particularly experience differences between expectations and reality this time of year. If you’re an adoptive family or considering becoming one in Alabama, Alabama Pre/Post Adoption Connections (APAC) is your partner to help you navigate each and every season in your family’s life – including the month of December – with knowledgeable and empathetic pre- and post-adoption support, including these tips and resources to stay calm and confident for the holidays.
Holiday Emotions in Adoptive Families
The array of emotions that accompany the holidays could be heightened in any family from disrupted routines and sensory overload. These feelings might be further intensified in adopted children who’ve experienced trauma or loss. Adopted children might have questions about their family of origin as they participate in the traditions your established family holds. They may also question their identity in your family after these traditions and larger gatherings with extended family members.
Tips for Seasonal Emotional Health
To keep holiday happenings running smoothly, set realistic expectations. Christmas magic set by movies, tv shows, and commercials seems to make everything “perfect,” but remember that these cultural touchpoints aren’t rooted in reality. Beyond big budget production, staging, and ideal lighting, there is the truth: the holidays can be hard. You know your family best, so don’t compromise on what you feel each member needs to thrive in December.
Prepare for family gatherings. Talk with your children about the details of each gathering before arriving – who will be there, what type of food and activities will be available, and how long you’ll likely stay.
You and your co-parent may also discuss how you might prepare to answer anticipated questions related to your family dynamics. Having prepared answers will help you feel more at ease if or when these conversations arise. Also consider having a code word between the two of you that signals it’s time to politely leave the conversation in favor of some calm moments to yourself.
Children love routine, but this often gets upended during the holidays. Encourage children to incorporate their own traditions that help them feel a sense of comfort and belonging in your home—whether that’s a special ornament they hang every year, a favorite holiday book you read together, or a quiet ritual that grounds them when schedules get busy.
Be intentional about creating moments of calm amid the holiday rush. Schedule quiet, one-on-one time with each child to relax, regulate, and reconnect after a big event or gathering. These small touchpoints can make a world of difference in helping them feel secure and seen.
Most importantly, reassure your child that whatever they’re feeling—even during a season filled with sparkle and shine—is completely valid. Encourage them to name their emotions so you can work through them together, with or without the support of an APAC counselor.
Help This Holiday Season Through Counseling
APAC believes the hustle and bustle of this season shouldn’t be a barrier to receiving the care you need. While it may be tempting to think the roadblocks you’re experiencing may ease up in January when festivities slow down, waiting until the new year to reach out may not be the answer.
All the feelings your children (and you as a parent) might be feeling are normal. But just because they’re normal does not mean they should be overlooked. If you’re noticing emotional changes in you, your adopted child, or anyone else in your family, consider a session with an APAC counselor. APAC’s trained counselors are master-level professionals with extensive experience in adoption – which includes the complexities that come with the holidays.
You can see an APAC counselor in an office, virtually, or in your home to help this season be one of bonding and not breaking down the expanded family you’re building. And these counseling sessions are offered free of charge from APAC’s collaboration with Alabama DHR. In addition to counseling, APAC has helplines and quick-access support for when you need it most through the holiday season.
Educational Opportunities Now and Through the Year
Numerous educational opportunities are also available through APAC, no matter where you are on your adoption journey. While preparing to adopt, APAC provides trainings and educational materials to lay a foundation for a successfully expanded family. One of these courses is Trauma Informed Partnering for Permanence and Safety (TIPS) classes, providing 30 hours of classroom-based empowerment even before your child joins your home.
Other workshops and trainings are routinely offered both in person and virtually throughout the year. You’ll also have access to a variety of free courses for self-study to equip you to be the best adoptive parent you can be. To find a roster of course offerings, click here.
APAC additionally facilitates a traditional, adoption-focused lending library. All materials ship to and from your home for free. To register for this library, simply click here. With so many educational resources, you’ll have the information you need in just a few clicks, especially amid the seasonal rush.
It’s All About Support – Through This Season and Those to Come
Professional help is always beneficial along your adoptive journey, but growing relationships with other families who have adopted is a special way to keep you grounded and encouraged. APAC is the center point to connect you with supportive, adoption-focused community across Alabama through this season and beyond. Private Facebook groups endorse virtual camaraderie for what you’re going through, while adoptive family events allow you to put names with faces that may eventually turn into your second family.
Support groups meeting monthly or focused on a specific topic are also offered through the year. While you may sense the need jump into adoptive community as a way to diffuse holiday-induced stress, a network like this is best cultivated throughout the entire year for long-term family wellness.
Make This December the Most Centered Time of the Year
From the moment you decide to adopt, you and your family’s trajectory is forever changed in remarkable ways. Through the highs, lows, and everything in between, APAC is your trusted source for emotional, practical, and logistical support both to and through adoption.
Even years after your adoption is finalized, you can still contact APAC for any needs that arise. Essentially, once you decide to adopt, you’re also able to join APAC’s family when a new member joins yours.
Instead of feeling pressure to make this month the most wonderful time of the year, seek to make this holiday season the most supported, informed, and centered time of the year for your adoptive family. To start the conversation between APAC and your family for this holiday season and beyond, click here.
