You’ve married the love of your life, and you both feel led to adopt a child. But you’ve also learned that for a Department of Human Resources (DHR) administrated adoption in Alabama, you need to be married for at least three years. If you and your spouse haven’t passed the 3-year mark yet, it’s understandable to feel like this time requirement stalls any potential progress in the process. But, instead of feeling delayed, there are ways to prepare for your upcoming adoption in this in between time.
Why the 3-Year Marriage Requirement Exists
Days may pass like months while you’re waiting for a child of your own to love and raise, but married couples’ adoption requirements aren’t meant to deter you. The requirement also doesn’t mean younger marriages aren’t ready to adopt in the eyes of DHR. It’s not a test of commitment or suitability. Rather, the 3-year marriage rule is in place to ensure the child ultimately joining your family will enter a home built on stability. When a child enters a stable home, it sets the child up for future success instead of another potential geographical and relational adjustment. After 3 years of marriage, you and your partner will have also likely built a strong foundation together that’s more resilient to weather the challenges you may encounter when you adopt.
How to Make the Most of Your Time
If you and your spouse haven’t been married for 3 years, you don’t need to simply wait for time to pass before you’re able to adopt. This interim time can be a period of strategic preparation if you reach out to Alabama Pre/Post Adoption Connections (APAC). APAC adoption programs will assist you every step of the way – not just when you meet all the requirements – to turn this season of waiting into time well spent.
APAC is your hub for children’s adoption resources from the moment you express interest in adoption. With APAC’s help, you can jump right into visualizing how this next chapter may look for your family. APAC’s free counseling services are available to you – yes, even now. You’re always welcome to talk with a licensed, master’s level and adoption-competent professional whenever you need assistance to process what you’re going through physically, mentally, or emotionally as you wait. To further evaluate if adoption is right for you and your partner, APAC will assist you in taking the Model Approach to Partnerships in Parenting (MAPP) Foundations Class. MAPP Foundations is a 30-hour required course for all adoptions in the state that teaches parenting and home management capabilities as you integrate the potentially different background your adopted child has into your family. This training can begin as soon as you’re six months away from the 3-year marriage mark.
You’ll be able to clearly evaluate your finances to better discern how you can support your future child. You’ll also have access to the largest adoption-focused library in the state that APAC moderates. Various mediums (books, audiobooks, magazines) are available to rent and ship for free to and from your home.
You’ll be able to clearly evaluate your finances to better discern how you can support your future child. You’ll also have access to the largest adoption-focused library in the state that APAC moderates. Various mediums (books, audiobooks, magazines) are available to rent and ship for free to and from your home.
Single Parent Adoption You don’t have to be married to adopt. For a single parent adoption, you need to be at least 19 years old and a US citizen. You’ll go through the same steps and gain the same support as a married couple, from home studies to support groups. Adopted children benefit from quality not quantity of home relationships, so don’t let your marital status hold you back from taking the first step. Once your child’s adoption is finalized, they are permanently and legally your child. However, if you marry someone after finalization, please be aware that your new spouse would not automatically have a legal parental relationship with your child — a stepparent adoption would need to take place. Further, any changes to your household composition are significant and should be discussed with your caseworker/adoption navigator. It is also important to note that in Alabama, cohabitation with an unmarried partner is not permitted for those seeking to adopt a child from foster care.
All Pre-Adoption Time Can Be Productive Time
While the 3-year marriage rule may feel like a wrench thrown in the plans you and your spouse are dreaming of for your adoption, it doesn’t have to be passive down time. Try to reframe this waiting time as one to learn and prepare all that you can to become a forever home for your future child. Start the conversation with APAC today. Your adoption journey can begin now, no matter where you are in the process. When you look back after your adoption is finalized, you’ll see you were right where you needed to be and not a moment was wasted.
